


A Love To Hide

by alyssa146



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: 1940s, Alternate Universe - Nazi Germany, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Attempted Sexual Assault, Bottom Jared, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Fluff, Graphic Description, Hitler, Holocaust, Hurt Jared Padalecki, Jared is a Jew, Jensen is a Nazi solider, Love Confessions, M/M, Minor Character Death, Older Jensen Ackles, Possessive Jensen, Protective Jensen, Read at Own Risk, Real Facts, Sensitive Topic, So much angst, Starvation, Top Jensen, True Love, Violence, Young Jared Padalecki, and I mean true love, real events, real people mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-10
Updated: 2018-09-10
Packaged: 2019-06-25 14:07:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 9
Words: 13,712
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15642297
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alyssa146/pseuds/alyssa146
Summary: Its 1943 and Hitler is at an all time high. He's running top concentration camps, winning over the country and ruining innocent people's lives. Jared Padalecki is one of them...and innocent 16 year old boy whose taken away from his family and sent to one of the worst places on Earth. But in that hell he might find an angel.





	1. Wake me Up

**Author's Note:**

> This is a reupload. I had this up about a year ago and deleted it on accident and am just now reuploading. This is a sensitive topic to speak about let alone write about and I do use real historical events and people. Most of the Nazi's I mention are real people Irma G was a real horrible woman. And Hitler was an asshole. Read this at your own risk, it could cause unsettling thoughts. But this needed to be talked about. When I wrote this I studied up for months, asked my German grandfather questions and everything I don't think I have ever worked so hard on a fic before.   
> First chapter is rather short that's because there's only gonna be 9 chapters and not only do I wanna make it last I want to use this as sort of information and a way for y'all to get a feel of it. I will be uploading to this everyday since its completed.

A loud bang woke Jared from his slumber, startling him and causing him to shoot upright in bed with a disordered expression. He turned his head to look at the clock and sulked it was only 7 in the morning no way was his family up and moving yet. Jared tip toed over to the banister and leaned over, his hazel eyes broadened in fear as he caught glimpse of a Nazi solider running through the house. Jared let out a gasp and stepped back, running to the safety of his bedroom and locking the door. He had been waiting for this day.

So he mustered up as much courage as he could for a sixteen year old boy and opened his bedroom door and started down the stairs as quietly as he could. Once he made it safely to the bottom his eyes searched rapidly for any signs of a Nazi but didn’t see one. Maybe they left? Maybe they changed their minds! Or what if they had her family and forgot about Jared?

His thoughts were interrupted as an arm reached out from the safety closet his father had built and jerked him inside where he found his family bundled up in hiding and he let out a pleased cry. Jared's father reached out and stroked his brown hair before pulling him in a tight hug. Jared’s brother had his arms wrapped around his long legs, trying to make room in the small closet; his mother was trying to comfort his weeping little sister but failing to do so. Jared scooted closer to his father and gripped his arm “what are we going to do?”

For the first time in his life Jared watched as his father shook his head hopelessly. Jared turned to his mother who wore a resilient smile and she nodded warmly to him. Of course his mother had nothing to worry about, she was German through and through. His father was the problem. Just as he mother opened his mouth the door flew open and a large hand reached in and jerked him little sister out roughly, causing her to fall to the floor in a heap. This of course drew the family out in a rage only to be knocked down as one solider took a rubber bat to his father’s head causing him to fall to his knees. This particular Nazi was a giant burly man who looked like he had spent some hard time locked somewhere deep within a dark cellar. His eyes were hard and cold and Jared froze with harsh reality.

“Get on the ground,” a voice behind him said. Jared’s eyes widened and he whirled around to face another soldier but this one was very different from the other. His eyes were kind and sympathetic and he wore a remorseful expression as he waved to the floor. Jared slowly knelt down his eyes still on the peculiar Nazi. He peeked over to look at his mother who stood with unwavering eyes and a harsh demeanor as she shoved papers in the giant soldiers face “I believe sir you are arresting the wrong family.” The man snatched the papers from her and scanned them quickly before nodding his head to her with a huff but then looking down to Jared and the rest of the family “what about them? They have no papers?”

His mother blinked edgily and shook her head “no their…my husband is Jewish…” The soldiers eyes hardened and he jerked her father up with a tight grip and shook him roughly “you’re telling me you’re married to this swine?” The man rolled his eyes and shoved her mother away “your kids might have a chance after we examine them, but your husband is going to the camp.” 

Jared closed his eyes tight and moved closer to his brother who was, despite kneeling on the ground, looking up at the man with venom in his eyes. Suddenly Jared was hauled up by the green eyed Nazi and led out “mama! Mama please!” His mother’s eyes widened in horror and she side stepped the burly solider and took off in a sprint as more soldiers piled in the house and began leading everyone out. She ran all the way to the town square where Jared gaped in terror as at least a hundred more Jews were lined up by the fountain, their heads down and tears in their eyes, mothers trying their best to comfort their children. While the rest of Jared’s family was shoved viciously on the ground the green eyed solider gently maneuvered Jared on his knees before standing behind him as a doctor in a white coat made his way over. 

The doctor started with his little sister Megan, he lifted her up and moved his hands around her body causing Jared’s father to growl lowly. The doctor began feeling her bone structure, his hands smoothing over the planes of her face lightly before pinching her nose and nodding his head “she is good.” Jared watched as his mom let out sob and opened her arms to collect a crying Megan. Next was Jeff. The doctor did the same as before and felt around his body, his face twisting in a frown as he felt his chest but then mellowed out once he got to his face “he’s good,” Jared closed his eyes as Jeff let out a relieved sigh before moving over to their mother.

The doctor looked down to their father and shook his head before waving a hand. Two soldiers came over and hauled Gerald up and jerked him over to a massive truck and threw him on the back. Jared could hear his sister screaming in the background and he knew that he would be to but right now he was too busy fearing for his life as the doctor felt over his lithe body.

“Take him away.” Jared froze. He felt an icy rain shatter down on him as heavy tears gathered in his eyes; rough hands gripped him tight and started to drag him to the truck. His mother was screaming and running after him, Jeff was beating a solider down to the ground and his sister was crying and screaming on her bare knees. Jared was only sixteen years old; he hadn’t done anything useful with his life, not yet. He wanted to go to college, he wanted to be a doctor and fall in love and have children, but now he might not ever have that chance all because he was different, because he wasn’t what they wanted him to be.


	2. Welcome to Hell

****  
They arrived at Buchenwald a couple days later, after traveling on the truck and then being forced to walk through the cool fall air for the last day. When they got to Buchenwald they were separated by age and gender and then lined up by height. And if Jared wasn’t shocked enough the green eyed solider that had been kind to him a couple days before was standing not far from him, his green eyes straining as he searched the crowd. When they landed on Jared they sagged with relief before he sent an encouraging nod. But Jared had worries of his own as he found Gerald in a line with middle aged men and found himself panicking.

What if his father’s age wasn’t good enough? What if they killed him? What if he wasn’t strong enough and they didn’t need him? He watched with wide eyes as the man in a suit walked over to his father and scanned him quickly before cocking his head. Jared had never felt so anxious in his entire life; it seemed like hours before the man nodded slowly and kept on walking past him.

Jared let out a breath of happiness before settling his eyes back to his father who nodded reassuringly. Suddenly a ruckus broke out and an older man was yanked up and jerked over to a line filled with weak men and women. The solider threw the old man down on the ground right in a pile of mud and laughed loudly as the other soldiers chuckled behind him. Jared scowled at the ruthlessness of the soldiers, the cruel viciousness they possessed, how little humanity they seemed to have in them. He wanted to rush over and help the old man but he knew that if he did he would be the one in that line.

He watched with wide, horrified eyes as each solider pulled out a long barreled gun and aimed it at the people’s heads, their eyes hard and fixated in on their targets, never wavering. In all of Jared’s sixteen years he had never seen someone die. He had never even been to a funeral most of his family was in good health and when his great, great grandfather died when he was 13 his parents wouldn’t let him go to the funeral, didn’t want to traumatize him. And here he was about to witness a brutal execution to an innocent man.

His eyes skimmed the crowd hurriedly till he locked eyes with the green eyed man who looked just as sick as Jared felt. The freckled solider sent him a small sympathetic smile and then lifted his hand and gestured to his eyes before slipping them closed and then opening them. Without much thought Jared slipped his eyes closed and clenched his fists and waited for the gun shots. He didn’t have to wait long. 

10 loud bangs sounded through the air and Jared jumped and let out a startled gasp. The air felt colder somehow, a brutal wind swept up and Jared felt the breath fly right out of him. As he let his eyes slip back open, a cold tear fell from his eyes and winded down his dirty cheek as he stared at the dead bodies of the men, women, and children lying on the ground. He let out a sob as he stared at a little girl lying lifelessly in the mud, she couldn’t have been more than five, and her eyes were gaping at him unresponsively as if he had been the last thing the little girl had looked at. Maybe in comfort, and like a coward Jared shut his eyes and shielded himself from their pain.

He looked back up to the green eyed man who was staring at the dead bodies with a wretched cringe, he then closed his eyes and shook his head slowly before turning his head and blocking his face from view. Who was this green eyed solider? And why was he so different?

****  
Jared knew he had only been in the camp for 2 weeks but to him it felt like a lifetime. They were fed twice a day, for breakfast they received toast, and an egg so runny it looked raw, and it probably was. For lunch they had a sandwich and some strange looking glob that Jared didn’t dare touch.

Jared had seen the green eyed solider numerous times and it seemed to him like this man was keeping an eye on Jared. But he was grateful, if anything this man was just looking out for him. Oh how he missed his mother so much. At nights he silently cried to himself as he imagined her generous eyes, warm hugs and soft brown hair. The way she would smile when Jared would lay his head on her shoulder, or the way she looked so at peace when she played the piano.

Just thinking of her made Jared want to cry, but he couldn’t if the soldiers thought he was slacking on the job they would beat him. Especially Ben who Jared had discovered was the worst of the worst. He was a tall muscular man with broad shoulders and light blonde hair, his face covered with golden facial hair a permeant sneer on his face. He would do anything just to get his hands on Jared. When Jared was the only one in the halls Ben would duck out and slam him against the cold metal frames and grope his body crudely and whisper filthy things in his ear. And Jared would sob behind the hand pressed to his mouth and try to buck away but nothing ever seemed to work, Ben was to strong and if anything the struggling turned him on and only made it worse. And if Jared could he would take as many showers as he could if it meant that he could wash those grimy hands off him.

****  
Jared was busy hauling labor equipment through an empty corridor when he was grabbed and pulled inside a vacant room. He let out a frightened breath and pulled his arm back about to scream out an insult when he noticed it was the green eyed man. Jared stared at him in bewilderment before shaking his head in confusion and stepping back. The blonde haired man held up his hands defensively “I’m not gonna hurt you I promise I just…I wanted to make sure you were doing ok.”

“Why do you care?”

“I’m nothing like them I—the only reason I’m a solider is to try and save people. I don’t believe in Hitler and I don’t believe in this whole genocide shit. I want to help you.” Jared cocked his head and looked the solider up and down and he watched as the solider do the same thing and Jared cowered in on himself. Jared knew he was probably a sight, he had lost at least 20 pounds, his shirt baggy and his hair greasy but the man smiled gently. 

“I’m Jared…” The man smiled and nodded his head in greeting “I’m Jensen. I’m sorry Jared you didn’t deserve any of this I wish you could have been safe.” Jared backed up and scanned Jensen up and down carefully “you’re very strange you know that? You should be beating me, throwing me down and disgracing me not trying to make sure I’m alright.” Jensen nodded his head and looked deeply into Jared’s eyes “What they don’t know can’t hurt them.”

****  
Two months later and Jared was loaded on a train to Auschwitz. He had watched Jensen’s reaction as they had loaded Jared up on the train that cold and rainy day. The look of terror that broke out from Jensen’s eyes, the start in his feet as he moved forward like he was going to save him. But he didn’t. Instead Jensen watched with horror as Jared was hauled onto the cold train, his eyes pleading to be saved. He would never see his family again. He would never see his mother again with her warm smiles and gentle hugs, never smell the scent of brownies that seemed to cling to her skin. He would be leaving his father all alone at that camp to care for himself.

Jensen. 

He would never see Jensen again, that kind German solider with eyes so green they seemed translucent. Jared was beginning to really like Jensen, the German solider that seemed to really care for him. He knew it was crazy, Jared was a Jew, he was vermin. Jensen would never like him.

Jared cried the whole trip, thoughts of death floating in his mind. When they pulled him off the train the tears came up again, as they walked closer to the large wooden building sitting at the center of the camp. Jared clenched his eyes shut; he thought maybe it would be better if he couldn’t see where he was going, if he didn’t know what was going on.

But he was still walking. 

Surely they had made it to the building by now; he chanced it and opened his eyes. They had passed the chambers and were heading to the back to a small metal building. The solider threw him in and pointed to a bed “this is where you’ll sleep,” and with that short word picked him back up and drug him to the toilet area where Jared frowned at the awful stench and tried to pull away “start cleaning.” 

Jared looked back at the soldier with horror in his eyes. He wanted Jared to reach in there? The soldier’s eyes hardened and he gave Jared a hard shove knocking him down to the floor, his hand flailing out and falling in the open hole and straight into the pile of feces.

Jared cringed as the Nazi laughed before walking out still chuckling. “This is better than being outside, trust me.” Jared whipped his head to the right where a young girl sat, her own hands stained brown while she collected the filth and gave her a incredulous look “how is this better?”

“This is how you survive. Being indoors means you’re useful, if they lead you outside to work it means their trying to kill you off you should be grateful they find use in you.” Jared swallowed before pushing up on his knees and leaning closer to the red haired girl “I’m Jared what’s your name?” 

The girl looked at him uncertainly, her shoulder’s tense as she answered “Kate…you better get to work before he comes back.”


	3. Look At Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes I did post two chapters:) their both rather short so I posted two to equal up to one long one.

Jared had been at Auschwitz a total of 30 days before he saw Jensen again. During that time he had been moved to clothing and shoes. Jared actually wished he was back shoveling shit out of the toilets than having to take the belongings of a human being and raid them for their possessions. He was making his way outside to get some more baggage when suddenly time seemed to stand still “Ackles! We didn’t know you were coming, we were only expecting Kane.”

Jared’s eyes widened and the bag he was holding slipped from his hands and crashed to the ground in a muted thump before he turned with a whip in the cold winter air, his cheeks stinging and sure enough there he was. Jared watched with wide, unbelieving eyes as Jensen, dressed in his dark green uniform, his hair slicked back as he held his hat under his arm, and shook the head of possessions hand, Oskar Groening, a false smile on his lips—the familiar long haired soldier behind him. 

Jared shuffled to pick the bag up and began walking back to the wagon, his eyes never leaving Jensen. Jared watched them talk for a good 10 minutes before finally Jensen turned and his eyes fell on Jared. They widened in astonishment but settled in relief before he turned back to the man and mumbled something. The man nodded and pointed at him and Jensen charged.

He gripped Jared’s arm tight and began pulling him along. Jared felt jumbled as to what was happening was Jensen betraying him? Is this the moment he would die? He seemed to sense his distress. “I’m not going to hurt you. I told him I needed your help with unloading just stay quiet.” He kept his mouth shut until they made it to a secluded area before he pulled his arm out of Jensen’s firm grasp “what are you doing here? How are you here? Is my father ok? Does he know I’m here? Oh god does he think I’m dead?”

“Jared calm down,” Jensen said as he laid his hands on Jared’s shoulders “I promise I will give word to him your alive.”

Jared closed his eyes with relief “he’s okay…but what are you doing here?” Jensen lowered his eyes “I wanted to make sure you were ok…I told you I would protect you and that’s what I’m doing.” Jared tangled his fingers in his nasty hair and pulled “I don’t understand any of this I mean I don’t get why you’re so nice to me. You’re a German solider, a Nazi! And I’m nothing but a—“ Warm, moist lips planted themselves onto Jared’s stopping him from talking. Jared froze in shock as Jensen kissed him, his strong arms winding around Jared’s waist, determined not to let go. Jared had never been kissed before, never had the chance and here he was kissing someone destined to kill him. After a while, after he was sure Jensen wasn't going to hit him, he melted into the kiss and wrapped his arms around Jensen’s neck before they pulled back.

“What was that?”

“Something I’ve wanted to do for a while now…listen Jared I know how crazy this must seem and I know a slight chance of something between us seems far-fetched with all the complications but I don’t care who I am or who you are. I don’t care that I have this uniform on that tells me who I am and I don’t care about Hitler. No one can stop the way I feel about you.” When Jensen finished he was panting slightly and Jared felt the need to both run in fear and kiss him all over again. He had never dealt with feelings like this before, never had to worry about boys and who he wanted to be with. Jensen reached out with a calloused hand and stroked Jared’s sunken cheek with sad eyes “no matter what happens, no matter how long this lasts I promise you I’ll get you out of here, I won’t let anything happen to you or your father.” Jared gave Jensen one last shaky smile before stepping back “I should head back…they’ll wonder where I am and I would rather not get a beating. When will we meet again?”

“I’ll try to pull you aside as much as possible, request you whenever I can. I’m thinking they’re going to be giving me my own personal slave, and I’ll request you.” Jared bit his lip at the word slave but nodded none the less before pressing one more kiss to Jensen’s lips before he turned and scurried off to the wagon, where loads of suit cases awaited him.  
Everything Jensen said was true. They should hate each-other, that was technically the way Hitler thought it should be and he tried to dig down deep and find some thought of hate for the man but all he found was love and affection.


	4. Save Me

Irma Grese aka the Hyena of Auschwitz. Irma was probably the most ruthless SS solider at the camp. Jared found himself confused when he first came across Irma. He had heard rumors about her from the other Jews, how sadistic she was, how evil and only 22 years old. She habitually wore heavy boots and carried a whip and a pistol. She used both physical and emotional methods to torture the inmates and enjoyed shooting prisoners in cold blood. She beat some of the women to death and whipped others mercilessly using a plaited whip. The mauling of prisoners by her trained yet half-starved dogs. And in her hut was the skins of three inmates that she had had made into lamp shades.

Jared had found out just how cruel she was when one day Jared was walking across the courtyard, carrying some boxes to take to the Supervisors office.

And he guessed maybe he had been walking to slow for her liking because the next thing he knew a sharp sting landed on his back and he was face down on the ground, withering in agony. Cat-O-9 tails were stuck in his back, painfully ripping through his skin as Irma jerked them out only to whip them across his face with one hard hit. Jared’s back was pouring blood, his eyes aching and screaming with pain. He felt like he had been ripped open as he lay on the muddy ground, curled in a ball as Irma stood over him with a menacing smirk on her face, wiping Jared’s blood off on her pants. “Maybe next time you’ll move faster vermin.”

****  
Jensen got a hold on him an hour later, the blood now dry and cracked. The wounds on his back red and raw and gaping open. Jensen was furious. To Jared, Jensen was usually cool, calm, and collected always prepared, never showed his emotions. But when he pulled Jared aside that afternoon his face melted into rage, his eyes darkened and his lips quivered as he pulled Jared’s shirt up to reveal his ravished back causing Jared to cry out at the sharp stinging from the roughness. “ Fucking bitch I swear to God I’ll—“

“There’s nothing you can do Jensen, you can’t look suspicious. I’ll be ok I just—help me clean up a bit so they don’t get infected or I’m really done for.” Jensen stared at him for a moment longer before turning in the supply closet they were currently locked in and rummaged through the shelves before he found a first aid kit. He moved Jared to sit down and gently took off his shirt, wincing as he did so. 

Jensen shook his head as he pulled out some disinfectant “this is going to hurt…just take a deep breath alright?”

Jared gulped as he nodded his hands gripping his skinny thighs tight as Jensen poured some on a rag and began wiping his back. Jared clenched his eyes shut and let out a tiny yelp, hot tears flowing freely at the stinging burn that spread over him. Jensen was cringing as well, feeling awful for putting Jared through the pain he was, but it needed to be done because Jared was right, it could get infected and that would take Jared down faster than anything. “It needs stitches. Do you trust me?” Jared didn’t think he had it in him to answer back vocally, the pain overtaking him so he settled for nodding as Jensen pulled out a sharp needle and some thread “I have no numbing medicine…I’m sorry.” 

Without warning Jensen stuck the needle through the wound and Jared felt like he was being cut open, the needle sharp and unused as it pulled through his skin digging deeper into the wounds causing the bleeding to start up again. Jared felt like he was on the brink of passing out the sting of the needle coursing through his back quickly as Jensen tried to finish up. Jared was crying—wrecked screams wailing from him, and he couldn’t even take time to feel humiliated about it. Once he finished Jensen threw the supplies down before pulling Jared in his arms, rocking him slowly and whispering words of comfort to him, his fingers tangling through his hair. 

“Its ok Jay it’s over now, I promise its going to be fine, I’m right here.”

All Jared could do was grip Jensen’s arm tight, trying to bury himself in his chest. He didn’t know how much longer he could live like this, how much longer he could take this constant aching. 

This place was killing him, tearing him apart and he was letting it.  
****  
Time at the camp seemed to drag on, it felt endless like the days were running together and Jared was slowly losing his mind. The only thing he seemed to have going for him where the occasional visitations from Jensen, the sneaking around. Jensen would find any excuse to see Jared and it seemed like it was paying off as Jared had been recruited as Jensen's personal servant. 

And since Jensen would need Jared anytime day or night to take care of whatever he may need the supervisor explained that Jared would be moving into the joining room next to Jensen’s. No more manual labor, no more diggin shit out of toilets, no more digging graves for corpses, no more Hyena. All he had to do now was take care of Jensen and give him whatever he wanted.

“Do you need anything?”

Jared looked up as Jensen walked in and he chuckled dryly “shouldn't I be asking you that?”

Jensen shook his head and sat next to him, wrapping his arms around him carefully minding his still sore back “just because you’ve been given that title doesn't mean I expect you to act it out. Hell if anything I’m your willing slave. Your a human being and you shouldn't be treated this way but I will do anything to keep you safe, even if that means havin you as a slave.”

Jared looked up into Jensen's soft eyes and smiled “I’m sorry its just I feel like I'm stuck in a nightmare and I can’t wake up. How does he do it? How does Hitler have so much hate for a group of people? What right does he have to play God? To judge us for what we are when he himself is a Jew. How can he look at someone, judge them, and condemn them to death and not have any remorse.”

Jensen scrunched his face in thought before sighing “I don't know Jay I can thankfully say I’ve never met the man I just take his orders. I guess he hates what he is so he’s punishing everyone else because he cant punish himself. I will tell you one thing, were not all bad. I’m not the only solider trying to help.”

“You mean there's more?”

Jensen smiled “shocking huh? I know we might seem heartless but you’ll be surprised what you find.”

Jared blinked before sitting up “the solider with the long hair...who is he?”

Jensen looked down with an unpretentious smile “that's Christian. We’ve been best friends since grade school. He’s like me but more rebellious, when he’s helping someone he goes to extremes. We joined because if we didn't we would have been questioned so we saw this as an opportunity help people, to try and protect as many as we can. Granted that hasn't been a lot but we’ve tried its hard when your trying not to get caught. “

Jared turned and gripped Jensen's cheeks “I don't know if I've said thank you Jensen but... Thank you so much for everything you've done for me.”

Jensen sighed and tilted their heads together “don't thank me yet. Not till your out ok? When your out you can thank me every damn day if you want but not till your safe, not till I’ve saved you. Just let me save you.”

“How long do you think this will last? How long will I be here? Till I die? Till I rot away or waste to nothing.”

Jensen sat up straighter and gave Jared a firm look as he gripped his hand “you are not going to die. You will get out, and were gonna be together. A time frame is hard to say, for Germany its all up to Hitler and how many deaths there will be before he thinks the world is clean. And for America, well we have to wait for them to come. And when they do your gonna get out of here, I have a friend there he has assured me their working on it.”

Oh how he wanted to believe him, that bright, burning look in Jensen’s eye gave him hope. That night Jared slept in Jensen's arms and for the first time he felt at peace.


	5. Wake Me Up When It's Over

3 months later and Jared felt like it had been a lifetime. 

The longer he was there the less human he felt, the only thing that was keeping him sane was Jensen. At night he would just hold him close and whisper words of love and comfort, he would even let him cry.

A week before Jared had forgotten what month it was, the day blurred and everything ran together. And when Jensen told him he stopped in shock.

It had been his birthday and he hadn’t even known it. He guessed time moved here much like it did in hell, slowly.

The good part was that Jared went out less. He did have to work in the garden now and then to gather food for him and Jensen but he liked it. 

There was no more cleaning shitty toilets, no more raiding peoples past possessions but he still had an occasional run in, like the night before.

Jared had been walking through the private hallway on the way back to his and Jensen's quarters when he was stopped by Frank a real asshole of a Nazi. He smiled crookedly, his teeth yellow and grimy making Jared’s belly roll with disgust as he cornered Jared near the wall. 

“Well if it isn't Ackles little fuck toy. Say you think he would be willing to share?” Frank looks Jared up and down approvingly. “I know your nothing but filth but a man has his needs and it has been a good while so how about you be a good boy and get down on those knees?”

Jared's eyes narrowed, and he knew he shouldn't really, he did but he couldn't help himself as he filled his cheeks with spit and sent a lougey straight on Frank’s disgusting, wrinkled face. Jared watched with pleasure as the slimy wad of spit dripped off Frank’s face, watched as his face contorted into anger, into a blistering hate. 

Frank reeled back and sent a hard slap Jared's way knocking him to the ground and sending his ears ringing. His lip was busted that much he knew as blood filled his mouth to which he spat at Frank’s feet. 

“You little bitch--” Frank raised his foot prepared to kick when a shout sounded out and Jensen made his way around the corner sending a sharp shove into Frank and he roughly hauled Jared up “what the fuck do you think your doing Pittman?” 

Frank swallowed before wiping his face and pointed “your little bitch spit on me--”

“He was gonna rape me!” 

“Shut your fucking mouth you--”

Jensen pushed Jared back and gave Frank a death glare “that's enough...you want your own little toy go find one but stay clear of mine, he takes no ones dick but mine got it? Next time I find you messin with him, or even speaking about it I’ll fucking kill you. Got it?”

Frank scoffed before looking at Jared with hate and then turning and stomping down the hall. Jensen grabbed Jared's arm and pulled him down the hall till they made it inside their room and his hands began to roam “are you ok? I’m so sorry about what I said you know I didn't--”

Jared reached up to take Jensen's hands and slowly pulled them down before he smiled softly “I get it and I'm fine, only a split lip.”

Jensen thumbed Jared's bottom lip before he winced and stepped back, pulling Jared down with him “there was a reason I was looking for you...I have something to tell you.”

Jared frowned and cocked his head “what? I don't have to go back out there do I? Because I don’t--”

“No its not that its...you know how I told you a couple weeks ago that your fathers been ill?”

Jared nodded hesitantly, moving his body back so he could stare into Jensen's seemingly sad eyes “well because of that Chris, you know my friend he’s still there and he said your dads work ethic has slacked and he tried to watch him as best as he could. He tried everything but it didn't--”

“Jensen what the hell are you trying to tell me? Just spit it out.” Jared breathed, already fearing the worst as dread rolled inside him, his answer clear as Jensen looked down with a sigh.

“They killed him Jay...they took him to the gas chambers and he died with about 50 other Jews.”

Jared jerked his hands away and moved across the room as a blistering cold swept over him; he could feel his throat closing up as he slid to the ground, loud gasps rolling from him as he tried to catch his breath. He could feel the stinging tears well in his eyes causing them to burn. His heart was thumping loudly, and he felt like it echoed throughout his body, he felt numb but somehow burning at the same-time. This couldn't be happening...his dad couldn't be dead. His father was the only thing he had with him, even though he hadn't seen him, the comfort of knowing he was safe and alive had been enough but now he was gone. Thrown into a room cold, sick, and naked and murdered like he was nothing. 

Jared was sure not a thought was given about his dad, no one cared and he hated that his dad had to die in a room full of innocent scared people who had no idea what was going on. His father didn't deserve a death like that, he was better than that. 

Jensen came over, his own tears clouding his eyes as he watched Jared crack, this moment was all he needed to break down, to finally let go. “I don’t understand...how can people be so cruel? What did my father ever do to deserve this? He was a good man, he helped others, he was honest and he loved me and he loved my family. My dad was a damn good father and he deserved better than that.” Jared cried brokenly as he clutched Jensen's uniform, trying to hold on. 

“That means I’m next...if my dad can’t survive then neither can I. What if I get sick? They’ll just get rid of me to, toss me in the trash like I’m garbage! Like I'm not a human being, like I never even existed and that's how it is isn’t it? He’s trying to wipe out an entire race of people and I know its only a matter of time before I’m one of them. I know you want to protect me Jen but that might not happen I know my fate and I know what goes on here, I know what this place is. I guess I”m lucky I made it to my 17th birthday huh? Lucky I at least got to turn 17 because I probably won’t reach my--”

“That's enough!” Jensen yelled, his voice cracking in despair as he sat down, his back bumping against the wall. Hot tears streaming down his freckled cheeks as he looked up at Jared with pleading eyes “I’m so tired of hearing you that...I know I have no idea what your going through, I know that this is my countries fault but I cant do anything about that. What I can do is keep you safe and I’ve done a pretty damn good job. I know this situation isn't perfect but dammit Jared I need you to try!” Jensen rasped as he scrambled closer, reaching out and taking Jared's hands. “I need you to want to live and right now you don’t, you haven’t in months you have to help me to! I love you Jared and I can’t-- I wont lose you so please help me.”

Jared watched speechless as Jensen broke down in front of him, as he bared his soul to Jared. Jared realized how selfish he had been, he had only thought about himself not even thinking how hard this was for Jensen, keeping up this charade, gambling his own life for Jared’s. “Did you...did you just say you loved me?”

Jensen nodded hastily and gave him a shaky smile “Yeah...I love you and that's why I need you to fight with me because you cant leave me here Jay. I couldn’t bare to watch them hurt you they would have to kill me and I would let them.”

Jared placed his hand on Jensen's cheek before pressing their foreheads together “I love you to I’ll try harder I will I just-- my dad Jen he was all I had with me and now he’s gone.” Jared sobbed.

Jensen pressed a fierce kiss to his temple before pulling him in his lap, holding him tight “I know baby...I swear to God I’m gonna get you out of here and were gonna find your family I promise.”

Jared bit his lip and let out a shaky breath as something tickled his skin “I know it’s a lot to ask but I...will you make love to me?”

Jensen's eyes widened “are you sure? Jared you've been through a lot today and--”

Jared pushed himself closer and pressed a kiss to Jensen's neck “please Jen...I might not get many chances, and I never have before and I want it to be you, only you, I want to feel you.”

Jensen squeezed him tight before slowly lowering him to the bed and climbing over him, stripping them gently of their clothes and Jared cowered. He was sure he was a sight, not nearly as good looking as Jensen was with his toned, freckled body. But Jensen kissed him and smoothed his hands down his side and smiled “your beautiful Jay, don’t hide from me.”

Bliss hovered over Jared’s eyes as Jensen handled him with care, treating him like a doll. As Jensen pushed in Jared’s world exploded. A loud gasp left his lips as he arched up into the man above him who was moving slowly inside him, his own groans filling Jared's ears. He turned his head and planted his lips to Jensen’s neck, hot pants chilling the man’s skin as his thrust’s quickened. He felt embarrassed as something hot swirled in his belly, but it being his first time Jared was proud he last this long “Jen I--”

The man cooed softly above him and pressed their lips together as Jared came between their bellies making his hips stutter as Jared clenched and he came deep inside the young boy.

Jared was already asleep as he rolled off to the side, no doubt from exhaustion and Jensen laughed lowly before pulling the boy in his arms and drifting off.


	6. Can You See Me Now?

A whole year had passed by. A year without seeing his family, a year without his father, and a year stuck in hell. Jared was beginning to lose hope that any help was coming. 

Recently he had contracted a cold. Mainly from the partial outside work he had been assigned to. The gardens weren’t bad that was for sure and it was way better than the jobs the others had so Jared felt a tad thankful. But the bad part was no matter what the weather, rain or shine, snow or hail Jared had no choice but to keep working. And last week a bad thunderstorm flew in, searing winds, loud burning rain that seemed to zap the skin when it touched down, and a cold air that zoomed through. 

And Jared had no choice but to keep digging, to keep harvesting and shivering as he did so. And when he finally came in that night he had red welts covering his body from the burning cold rain. He had come in and practically passed out when Jensen confirmed Jared had a severe cold. Jared had laughed at the irony; maybe this is when he would finally go. Maybe his work would slack, maybe they would notice the pale skin and deep under eye circles and throw him in the gas chambers with the sick and the weak and finally take him out. But Jensen was adamant. He was sneaking him medicine, pushing him his own bowls of soup and forcing him to take brutally hot showers.

But Jared knew he couldn’t think like that, knew he had to play it off and pretend longer. He was feeling better he was, but he still felt tired and achy which Irma seemed to notice.

She walked up behind Jared one day who was busy pulling weeds from the garden, her whip in hand and vicious dogs at her feet and bent down ear level to Jared and hissed with a deep raspy voice, spit flying “your slacking vermin and you have been for a while now…it’s only a matter of time before they kill you off. But maybe they’ll let me do it hm? Let me rip the disgusting flesh off you and feed it to my babies…it’s not the healthiest but it’ll do.”

Jared took in a deep breath and ignored her, going back to burying his hands in the fresh dirt but Irma wasn’t satisfied. She wanted a reaction, wanted something so she threw her hand up her whip flying in the sky before she struck down and watched with a devious grin as the leather enclosed around Jared’s neck throwing him on the ground and cutting off his air supply. Jared’s eyes practically bugged out of his head as his hands reached up to grip the tight leather trying his best to pull it from his neck. Irma laughed and yanked tighter, enjoying the show as she watched Jared’s mouth bob, the veins in his neck protruding with struggle. She flipped Jared on his stomach, whip still in place and reached behind her to pull out her spiked whip and sent a sharp hit to Jared’s back reopening the old wounds, the skin ripping open and screaming. 

Jared let out a silent cry as tears poured down his face from the brutal force against his back and the lack of air he had left. She sent another hit his way causing the spikes to stick on Jared’s thigh, Irma gave a hard tug but they wouldn’t come lose. This sent Jared into frenzy as he cried out loud every time she gave a tug till they finally came free tearing the skin open, blood pouring out profusely as the jagged edges lay open and bare. Finally she untwisted the whip and spit at Jared’s face before sending a whistle and leaving Jared laying on the dirty ground, crying and screaming.

****  
The bedroom door burst open as Jensen came in carrying a crying and bleeding Jared. He placed him as gently as he could on the bed, his own tears in his eyes as he took in his injuries he ran to the bathroom and got some towels and hot water “ok Jay you know the drill, just hold on ok…I’m sorry.” 

An earsplitting screech erupted from Jared’s throat, sending a chill down Jensen’s spine as he poured peroxide on the wounds before picking up a small towel “I’m sorry but you have to be quiet.” 

Jensen stuck the towel in Jared’s mouth watching as his teeth clenched down on it, somehow screams now silent still floating from him. As Jensen sewed Jared up he lay quiet, numb and limp on the bed dry tears staining his cheeks. When Jensen was finished he sat quietly, just watching as Jared lay disoriented “I can’t…I can’t take this much longer.”

Jensen squeezed his eyes shut before letting out a shuddering breath. He knew Jared was in pain, knew he was tired of acting, tired of being in this place and he had no right to ask him to fight but he did silently. “I just wanna go home,” Jared breathed his voice full of emotion as he cried into the pillow, Jensen moving in behind him and ever so gently stroking his hair. “I know…I know and you will I promise you will.”

“It’s been a year…a year stuck in hell. What if no one’s coming? What if this is how it ends?”

“It’s not I pro—“

“Don’t promise…we both know now promises mean nothing here. The only thing this place offers is pain, lies and death…that’s our fate. I hope I survive I really do I hope one day that I’m somewhere happy and with you but if that doesn’t happen I won’t be surprised. If it doesn’t, if something happens to me here I want you to keep quiet…I want you to live even if you don’t want to because I cant.” 

Jensen closed his eyes as burning tears filled within them and buried his face in Jared’s shoulder as he let out a trembling breath “don’t talk like that if something happens to you then something happens to me I won’t let you go down without me. I love you.” 

Jared knew there was no sense fighting. He would feel the same if he was Jensen so he just reached back and tangled his fingers in Jensen’s gelled hair and drifted off into sleep.

 

His wounds healed slowly and achingly so. The only good outcome of Irma’s attack was that Jensen bargained him a couple days off so he could lay around and heal without risk of infection. Jared was determined, now more than ever, he wanted to show Irma, every Nazi in the damn concentration camp that he was gonna live, he was gonna fight no matter what they did to him. 

Jared was counting the days, he watched the calendar Jensen kept as it moved slowly, the months were dragging on, taking to long to change. The only thing that did change were the seasons, the rainy spring turned into a sweltering heat as summer settled making the gardens much more difficult. But still Jared felt lucky. 

He watched day in and out as the people around him turned into skeletons, a hollow shell of the person they once were and he felt selfish. He was getting treated like a king behind closed doors, taking half of Jensen's food, bathing and sleeping in a warm bed with the man he loved while everyone else starved, barley getting two meals a day. 

Jared wasn't surprised Kate was still alive, she was a survivor, she was hard and unwavering like the others here. He watched as she took scraps and buried them deep inside of her baggy stripped outfit to eat later, watched as she worked hard in front of the guards but leaned back as they looked away. During the night when he knew his words were safe he told Jensen of her and Jensen would smile and tell him he would make sure she stayed safe.

Slowly but surely Jared watched as the officers around him changed, their moods becoming apprehensive, somewhat scared. Jensen told him he heard from his American friend and they were gathering troops, and a spark of hope filled Jared. Maybe soon he would go home; he would see his brother and sister. He would feel his mothers warm hugs and be safe in his bed again. He would be free with Jensen. They would take off the America, and they would be safe.

But time was short Jared knew that. All of their days were numbered and he watched as the people around him were taken down one by one. If not disease or starvation then by the hand of someone else. He knew that even if he did get out of here it wouldn't really matter. These moments would never leave him all the screams, the beatings and hard words...the numbers on his arm they would remind him of who he was. Even if he did escape he would always be in hell.

 

Jared was starting to lose hope. It had been almost two years since he was locked away in the camp, almost 8 months since Jensen told him help was coming. He didn't look like himself anymore, he didn't know how Jensen could stand to touch him. 

The winter was back and it came with a vengeance. The cold had a burning effect and every night when Jared would go in his skin was red and chapped and screaming for moisture. At night Jensen still made love to him though Jared wasn't sure how, how he did it without cringing. Jared had to admit he knew he looked better than some of the others, happy he did have some skin left, glad his spine wasn't sticking out...yet. He was almost positive he had lost up to 40 pounds and on a 17 year old boy it wasn't pretty. 

His skin was dry and cracked, his lips peeing, his eyes sunken in and his cheeks sharp and hollow. His once tan skin was pale and his eyes almost black underneath. His stomach was so skinny he could count every rib as his belly sunk underneath them. But Jensen acted like he didn't notice; he still treated Jared's body like a temple and worshiped it almost every-night. And even though he hated to admit it he cried pretty often during sex just thinking how lucky he was.

He knew it couldn't be easy to touch him the way Jensen did, to kiss him, to look at him but the man did it without pause and it made his weak heart flutter. God if his mother could see him now she would have no clue who he was, hell he isn't even sure he does.


	7. Who Are We?

Before all this happened Jared had entered his “stage of manhood” as his father used to say. The summer he had turned 16 he had really started growing, his mama swears he went to bed 5’3 and woke up 5’10. He’s pretty tall for his age, not as tall as Jensen but Jared guessed he could be. Or he could have been. 

Due to the malnourished treatment he was receiving he guessed he might not grow much more if any. Which upset him. His father had been a tall man and his brother Jeff had to be at least 6’1 if not taller by now. 

Of course he shouldn't complain. When he could Jensen would sneak him food, which proved to be easier when you were living with someone. But at the same time Jared couldn't just eat everything Jensen owned, the man needed to eat as well and he wasn't selfish.

Of course the man offered, more than once he had shoved his plate over to Jared telling him he wasn't hungry and if he was he could just go to the kitchen. But Jared could hear his belly growl. He knew the man was trying his best to feed him. He still got his scrap of bread every morning and a bowl of runny mush in the afternoon and he tried to scarf it down without gagging.

But he was feeling weaker and weaker. 

After the last run in with the hyena he was beginning to doubt his time left on earth. There was no denying this woman had something against him what it was he still didn't know. He tried his best to stay out of her way, tried not to patronize her but the woman lived for torture and Jared was her weak spot. 

After the last attack he had developed a small infection in his thigh due to the rods sticking in his leg and mud splashing inside the wound. He had shivered, coughed, sweated and gagged for 3 days before his fever calmed and his belly settled. Jensen had panicked the whole time.

Jared wasn't stupid. Before all this he had been the top of his class and unlike the other Jews around him he knew how this would most likely end. Outside he would be digging in the garden and he would overhear an officer telling a young Jew it would be ok, they were just going to get a check up. But he knew where they were going.

And when you didn't see them again you knew. 

He wasn't stupid. He was trying to be strong for Jensen, to pretend he was ok, that he could do this but the man just didn't understand. Everyday he was dying. It was only a matter of time before his body gave out and he was thrown in the gas chambers. He was stronger than the others, his skin not quite as pale as the rest but that didn't mean he didn't look just as rough. 

Lately he was worried about Jensen. The man had been at this for far to long. It seemed that Jensen just ignored the fact that he risked his life everyday for complete strangers which he’s grateful for don’t get him wrong but...what if he got caught?

The notion made him shake. If there was ever a chance Jensen would get caught he isn't sure what he would do...offer himself up to he guesses. 

Every time he brings it up Jensen just laughs, presses his nose to his sunken cheek and sighs like he’s the best thing in the world before telling him everything will be ok, that he doesn't have to worry. But he does because someone has to.

He listens as Jensen tells him all about the girl Chris is helping at the moment and it makes him nervous. Sure his only met Chris a couple of times, nothing major, but he knows what Jensen said is true. Chris is a hell raiser and he has no doubt that its go big or go home for him. Hell he’d probably throw the girl over his shoulder and run through the gates guns blazing and it might seem laughable now but it sure wasn't to him.

Jensen getting captured, getting tortured, get executed is all he sees whenever he closes his eyes. It makes him cry.

He lies awake at night, Jensen breathing deeply next to him, his warm arm thrown over his bony waist, and he cries. What if he never wakes up next to the man again? What if he cant feel him breathe? What if tomorrow everything ends?

Its a terrible thought...one he knows can easily come true.

He watches, apprehensively, as Jensen paces in front of him, rambling and excited as he talks about Chris’s plans and his friend from the States overseas.

“So Chris told me he got word earlier this week from our friend and he said their rallying up as we speak, it could be another week Jay! Another week and were getting you out of here baby I swear it. You wont have to endure this shit anymore will leave...will move to the States! Will get a house just me and you and you’ll be safe.”

Jared smiled weakly as Jensen grinned at him, his words jumbled and loud making his head hurt. He wanted to tell Jensen he had heard this all before, at least every week Jensen tells him it shouldn't be long, that soon they’ll be free...they'll be free like Jensen is suffering.

He watches as a flush rises to Jensen's cheeks, his skin tan and freckled, his body toned and broad and muscular and Jared looks down at himself. Sickly, pale, hollow and disgusting. The man before him is healthy and lively and Jared is nothing but a shell.

He cant help but feel jealous and resentful toward Jensen. He doesn't want to, he’s happy Jensen is healthy and alive, that he doesn't have to get beaten nearly ever-day and know what starving is like. But what makes him better than Jared?

Jared cocks his head and watches Jensen talk excitedly in front of him, his hands moving wildly and he wonders what Hitler sees in him, what does he had that Jared doesn't.  
Is it the blonde hair? The green eyes? The freckles? 

Jared looks down at himself and turns his hands over. He used to be tan, his eyes are kind of green actually their kind of everything, and he has moles...is that so different?

He lifts his hands and feels at his face and runs his fingers over the slope of his pointy noise and the curve of his cheek. Is it that Jensen is more put together than him? Flawless and perfect while Jared is sharper and edgier? 

“Jay?”

Jared looks up into Jensen's confused eyes “baby what are you doing?”

Jared frowns and looks the man over “whats wrong with me?”

Jensen blinks, startled “nothing...why would anything be wrong?”

Jared could tell him exactly whats wrong, tell him how wrong his sentence is for starters, “ I just mean...what do you have that I don’t? Why are we so different?”

Jensen's shoulders drop and a look of regret and understanding passes his face as he sits next to Jared and takes his hand “were not...I have nothing you don’t have. I know this whole situation is making you doubt yourself, making you see things that aren't there. But your beautiful Jay, everything about you there is nothing wrong with you.”

Jared jerks his hand away and stands up on shaky legs “there must be! I’m a freak Jensen, I’m messed up I’m no good! If I was I wouldn't be going through this, is I was normal I wouldn't be starving to death! I’m being tortured, starved, and humiliated because there's something wrong with me,” Jared sobs, his eyes burning and heavy as hot tears slip down his sore cheeks “please just...whats wrong with me?”

Jensen stands and reaches out strong hands and pulls Jared in his arms, wincing as his back pops at the rough movement, his bones apparent as Jensen smooths his hands down his gaunt back, his hands running through greasy hair “nothing...there's not a damn thing wrong with you.” He pulls back and grips Jared’s shoulder and forces him to look up “you are human, you are perfect its him that's messed up Jay, its him that's a freak...he’s sick Jared. You are not...”

Jared closes his eyes and cries, snot pouring from his nose and his face red as he buries it in Jensen's chest and listens as he tried to soothe Jared, console him and tell him everything is ok.

He wants to believe Jensen, wants to believe that Jensen wouldn't like to him but as he look's in the mirror and stares back at himself, haunting and skeletal like he finds that he just cant.


	8. Secrets Of My Past

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Time to learn a little about Jensen.

Jensen isn't blind. He knows Jared might think he is but he isn’t. He sees things, he has seen things others wouldn't dream of, and he sees Jared.

He knows the boy is struggling Jared is after all only 17. He’s still a boy, a young boy who should be home with his family, studying in school and getting ready for college. Not living in hell and wondering if tomorrow will be his last day. 

Jensen knows struggle, obviously not like Jared but he knows. He’s 25 years old, he’s been doing this for five years now and everyday is harder than the one before. He wasn't planning on becoming a solider, much less a Nazi solder, he was going to school, studying to be business man like his father, to work at his dads office. And then 1938 rolls upon them and Jensen is an adult and old enough to go to war and he does. 

But not without some ill intentions.

His best friend Chris convinces him they can do this, they sit down in his dark basement and they plot. Neither are happy about having to do this but if they can help people then its a risk their willing to take.

And Jensen knew what a risk it was.

His family was...well they didn't have much of an opinion. They didn't believe in Hitler but they didn't oppose him either. But he knew that if his parents figured out what he was really doing they would flip. 

When he told them he was going to war his mom cried and his dad clapped him on the back and told him he loved him, that he was sorry he had to do this. His job at the office would be there when he got back.

But its been 5 years and he’s still here.

He hates to admit but he has gotten close to some of the soldiers here, when your with them everyday 24/7 its hard not to. Some of them aren't bad, they’ll talk about their family, a week ago an officer named Max and his wife welcomed their first child. And that was nice. Soldiers like Max are here because they have to be.

But then there's the ones that want to be. Disgusting, vile, evil people who get a kick, get a rush from hurting other, from causing them pain, from killing them. Their the men with grim eyes, a wicked smile, and rough blood covered hands. People like Irma.

He hates those people.

When he had first met Irma she was 19 and even he had been frightened. Irma was a short, stocky woman with dark blonde hair that was always pulled back in a frizzy ponytail, a sneer on her face. Her two vicious dogs at her feet, barking and nipping.

They had first met when Jensen went to her boot camp and she instantly threw herself at him and it made him sick even then. He didn't want to be like that.

But he was no better.

He had done things he wasn't proud of, had seen things, had hurt people. He tried to be that solider that stood in the back and that was fine for the first 3 years but then he got promoted. Jensen was what one would call a Oberleutnant--1st lieutenant. He wonders what his parents would say if they could see him now? If they knew what he did, what he had done, how they gun felt shaking in his hand. 

And he hated it. He hated that he felt this way, that he was charged with taking innocent people's lives. This isn't where he's supposed to be. He should be sitting in a boring office, doing dull paperwork and wishing he was at home watching TV. He shouldn't be out here in the cold, in the heat wondering who he's gonna have to kill next.

Technically he was the one that was in charge of executions, who had to die, what order they had to be in but thankfully Irma and the others took care of that.

They did now anyway.

When Jensen was first promoted he was charged with the task of killing a young woman and her child. They were weak, not well fed, and they couldn't keep up. Jensen knew it when he first laid eyes on them. Call it an initiation if you want. He would have gladly taken a bullet in the head for the two sitting in front of him but what about all the others he could save?

Himmler walked over to him, a cold smirk on his face and handed him his favorite handgun and nosed down at the young family “kill them. Their weak, they'll offer us nothing.”

He could hear their whimpers, the mothers pleas not to touch her child and Himmler scoffed and shoved her down in the mud before glaring at him “now Lieutenant! As your General that's an order.”

Jensen gulped, his palms were sweaty and he felt lightheaded as he looked down at them, tears sprouting in his eyes that he sniffed up quickly. He couldn't be weak, he couldn't back down.

So he straightened his back, leveled his gun, prayed for forgiveness and sent a bullet between their eyes. 

He had nightmares for months. Sometimes he still sees their dead eyes looking back at him.

But he could never tell Jared that. The boy’s already been through to much, already doesn't wanna fight anymore. His watched as Jared slimmed before his eyes, his body frail and small and it made him cry. When he would hold him Jared felt like a baby bird and he was scared he would break.

But he wouldn't, he couldn't. 

He had to get him out of here, even if it cost him his life.


	9. Are We Free?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter! I know some might be upset that I made this story so short I'm sorry but I felt like I got everything in I could at the moment as I am wanting to maybe write a sequel and include some flashbacks that didn't get seen and go a couple years in the future. I hope everyone enjoyed this story and got as much out of it as I did writing it. And remember history is always with us.

Things came to ahead though one dark stormy morning, barley any daylight in the clouds. The winds were howling through the trees causing an eerie noise to breeze through the camp, and heavy shivering rain fell down in the already freezing night air. Everyone had been forced outside, and lined up like they were dogs standing cold and wet in the rain.

Irma stood with a murderous look on her face, Officer Himmler paced up and down the lines with a matching look, his hands folded neatly behind his back, a pistol in his pocket. Jared shivered and moved closer to Jensen who was standing with his arms behind his back, at attention, his eyes forward and hard as they focused on his superior, his green poncho allowing the cold rain to pelt off him as he suffered, his body chilling to the bone.

“This morning I went back to my chambers to enjoy my breakfast and I found that a little rat had been rummaging through my quarters. A conniving rat that shouldn’t have been there in the first place.”

Out of the line Himmler reached in and gripped Kate’s raggedly thin shirt tight before throwing her on the muddy ground with a hiss, the mud splashing up and marking her face. “It seems we have a trouble maker in the system and I don’t know if you lowlifes have forgotten but I’m the head honcho around here and no one steals from me. Especially not ungrateful dirt like you.” Himmler roared before looking down at Kate with repulsion in his eyes.

Jared watched in fear as Kate lay on the ground, panic running through him but Kate the ever brave Kate was calm. Her eyes were hard and concentrated, and her body still as she stayed on her hands and knees, her focus on the running puddle in front of her as Himmler paced back and forth behind her. Jared had no idea how she was maintaining such a calm stance. The people around them were shuffling back in fear, their sunken faces avoiding the Nazi's gaze, away from Kate so they could shuffle back into their dreamland of hope. 

Jared snuck a look at Jensen and his face was pinched, his eyes narrowed and focused like the other soldiers around him and if Jared didn't know any better he would say maybe he was just like the rest of them but his hands wringing nervously behind his back.

“Tonight I’m going to make an example out of this swine, and maybe then all of you will learn your place. Nobody crosses me, no one makes a fool out of me.” he turned to Irma and nodded “if you would do the honors.” 

Irma smirked, her bright red lips turning up in a sneer and Jared watched in horror as she stalked near Kate already reaching behind her for her whip and he knew without a doubt that this time she wouldn't stop until someone was dead, until Kate was laying on the ground bleeding out and nothing left of her but leftovers for her dogs. Without thinking Jared ran forward, clutched her hand and ripped the spiked cat o’ nine tails from her and backed up ready to strike. “Don’t you touch her.”

Irma turned to him in shock before her face settled into rage “how dare you! You stupid shit who do you think you are?” Jared gulped and looked around hurriedly, watched as Jensen’s eyes widened in alarm his own head moving around for any signs of action.

This was probably a huge mistake; actually he was sure it was. His body was shaking in fear and he felt like his legs might give out at any moment, this was by far the stupidest thing he had ever done. But Jared was tired of sitting by, tired of letting people die right in front of him and at the end of the day he was a prisoner here to and it was time to stop hiding. Irma stalked forward; Jared didn’t even have time to raise his arm as Irma sent a stinging slap his way causing him to fall, mud splashing on his already cut face. “I’ve been waiting for this moment runt, the day when you would finally snap and I would get to be the one to break you.” Jared lifted his head slowly, blood seeping from hi busted lip, could see Jensen’s booted feet move in the mud, wary but wanting to attack.

Jared looked up his eyes strong and willing “ I think I’m Jared Padalecki son of Sharon and Gerald Padalecki and I am a Jew and you… your nothing but a bitch hiding behind a whip and her dogs.” 

Irma’s eyes widened, her face turning red in embarrassment as murmurs quickly spread throughout the camp, the other Jews leaning in toward each-other in shock. Irma growled and let out a yell starting to charge forward.

Jared kept his eyes on Irma, ready for anything, ready for death, ready to see his father again when Jensen stepped in front of Jared clutching Irma’s wrist and jerking it back causing her to fall in pain. “You lay a hand on him again and I’ll sick your own dogs on you and watch as they tear you apart.” 

Jared reached out to grip Jensen’s leg tightly, his hands trembling as the adrenaline rushed out of him as quick as it came, leaving his energy running dry as Irma looked up at him with incredulous eyes “what the hell are you doing Jensen? This is nothing but a piece of—“ Jensen gave a hard tug to her arm causing her to scream out in distress as he shoved her on the ground at his muddy feet, a strange look in his eyes Jared had never seen before “no Irma you’re the trash, you’re the piece of shit not him he is 10 times better than you’ll ever be.” Himmler started to him at that minute but Jensen was quicker, he reached in his belt and yanked out his gun in a flash pointing it between Himmler’s eyes “take one step closer i’ll blow your fucking head off.” 

Jared stood up behind Jensen, his legs as shaky as a new born colt as he held on his eyes cautious as he gripped Jensen’s waist, his fingers digging in the slick poncho, pressing closer to him for warmth and reassurance, getting it as Jensen gave him a short look Himmler’s eyes zeroing in and narrowing in disgust. “So this is it? You’re screwing this thing and it got to your head? God Ackles don’t tell me you love this piece of filth? Have you forgotten who you are? What were fighting for? You pledged yourself!”

“I do…I do love him because he is a human being not filth. I know I’m one person and I’m not enough to take you all on but I’ll go down fighting, ill kill as many of you as I can try me,” Jensen hissed. Jared nodded to himself as he clutched the cat o’ nine tails tightly in his dirty hands. 

This was the moment he was sure of it. 

The moment his life would end and Jensen would go down with him and for what? Because Jared couldn’t keep his stupid mouth shut? Jared watched in fear as a circle of Nazi’s formed around them and his eyes formed with tears as he looked over to Jensen. Time seemed to move in slow motion as Jensen turned to look at him, his eyes shining but a wide brilliant smile on his lips and suddenly Jared felt at peace… if this is how they would go, at least they were together.

And then just as Jared felt the air rush out of him from lack of room a loud siren wailed out into the morning light, the rain clearing as the soldiers seemed to back up their eyes wide and terrified. Jared watched confused as one by one they fell to their knees and a new swell of soldiers rushed in, their uniforms a dark blue. Jensen gasped with relief and dropped his gun causing Jared to jump as it hit the ground with a thud, mud splashing on her pants “they’re here... their finally here.” 

He could see Irma with her hands on her head and a snarl on her lips. Jared watched emotionless as the American soldiers rushed in, first checking with the Jews and carrying them to safety before cuffing the Nazi’s who seemed frozen in place. Jensen was grinning; his head tipped back as he laughed out loud as his American friend ran over and gave him a hug as if Jensen had been the one locked up here, like he had been the prisoner.

Jared dropped the whip, feeling the leather as it slipped from his cracked hands and onto the muddy ground before falling to his knees loud, ugly sobs erupting from him as he hunched over and cried into his torn up hands. The moment he thought would never come did. Almost two years of torture, of sickness, of complete evil and it was finally over all with the wail of a simple siren.

But none of that mattered at this moment. Because he was going home.

2 weeks later

Jared had to stay holed up for 2 weeks in a hospital bed before they put him on a train home, Jensen riding next to him squeezing his hand in excitement. Almost two years and Jared was finally going to see his family. He had been hoping and praying for this day for a long time and now he was scared. What if his family blamed him for their fathers death? What if they were disgusted by what they saw? Auschwitz turned you into a different person.

He hadn’t filled out much in that two weeks. He hadn’t been allowed to consume anything but liquids for the first couple days so his body could adjust. But he was happy to note his skin was no longer cracked, the bottle of lotion the hospital had supplied him had been used liberally. His under-eye circles were clearing from much needed rest. He had only gained back 3 pounds during the 2 weeks at the hospital so he still looked like a stick figure. But it would take time.

Instead of returning home to the house they had in the ghetto they were taken to a new home. A cleaner, brighter home that practically sung welcome. It was white paneled and framed with yellow shutters; tons of flowers littered the sidewalk as they made their way to the door where Jared froze. 

He wasn't sure he had the strength to lift his hand and knock, he knew his thoughts were crazy his family loved him and they missed him...but he had been gone for a long time what if he wasn't the same?

The door swung open and Jared gulped for the first time in 2 years as he came face to face with his mother who had tears streaming down her perfect face. Her brown hair tucked in a bun and a warm aroma floating from the house. She looked Jared up and down, more tears falling as she did so before letting out a sob and threw herself around his frail body. She only sobbed harder as her hands trailed down his knobby spine, the bones in his body evident. 

Jared closed his eyes as a wave of comfort washed over him and he cried. His hands clutched his moms sweater tightly, afraid of letting go. He was home, he was with his mama, and he was safe. The past two years of events rushing back in as he leaned his full weight on his mom, his body shaking with violent sobs and he shushed him softly. 

As Jared's blurry eyes blinked open he spotted his brother and sisters hovering behind her. He sidestepped her, his sister watching him with wide, guarded eyes like if she blinked he would vanish. His brother somehow looked less buff than before. His hair was lifeless and he stared at Jared with shimmering eyes.

Without another thought Jared rushed forward and threw his arms around both of them and that seemed to be all they needed before they drew him in and started crying. Megan was practically trying to climb up Jared’s front and Jeff was squeezing him so hard he couldn't breathe. But he loved it.

He pulled back with a watery smile and turned to Jensen to take his hand “this is Jensen, he’s the soldier who helped, who saved me.” 

His moms smile widened and she pulled Jensen in a hug “thank you for keeping my boy safe.” Jensen smiled back as he wrapped his arm around Jared's shoulder “he did a pretty good job himself I’m sorry I couldn't do the same for your husband.”

Sherri let out a sad sigh, like she had come to peace with the news and gave them a hidden smile “I assume you two are together?”

Jared blushed and nodded “we fell in love...mama I know I just got home and this might seem rushed but were going to America. I don't feel safe here and I don't think I can stand to be here much longer this place is...I would rather forget. I hope you’ll come with us, all of you.”

“Of course we will honey, I don't think I could be away from you now anyway. In fact we have found a family to stay with till were better suited. Your welcome to stay with us.”

“Actually ma’am I’m sitting on quite a bit of family money and if you don't mind I plan on buying Jared and I a house so we can spend our lives together, I think we both deserve it plus I made some promises I intend to keep.”

Sharon smiled and reached for Jared's wrist, trailing her fingers across the bony limb, pausing as she reached those dreaded 6 numbers. 156825, her index finger pausing on the last number“I don't mind...not at all.”

Jared knew his time at Auschwitz would be something he would never escape, it would be a deadly memory that would haunt him forever. That branded him, that would staple his family history. And even though he went through hell, even though he had wished for death he was proud of who he was even if Germany wasn't. He was proud of his father and would always keep him in his heart.


End file.
